Chatting about… ‘Letting You Go’

Hello! Here’s a little vid about ‘Letting You Go’ and basically what the book is all about! (Aside from hope and second chances and loving people ferociously, warts and all. Because obviously, I forgot to mention that stuff…doh)


Since You’ve Been Gone


Available to buy here!

‘The perfect summer read – warm, sexy and addictive!’  – Jenny Colgan

‘A thrilling debut from an exciting young author’  – Jackie Collins

‘A brilliant page turner…we’ve discovered a real talent’  – Lorraine Kelly

At the week’s start, Jesse and I had just begun the Monday morning ritual of divvying up jobs for the bakery’s days ahead when the first customer of the week, a Mrs Ludlow-Burns, had walked into Cake.

‘Testicles,’ she’d said tartly from the other side of the counter, ‘on a plate. If you’re up to the job?’ Her cool grey eyes had deviated then, first inspecting the displays around her, then giving all of Jesse’s six-foot-something a considered once-over. Jess, wide and athletic, had towered over the woman, but despite the pearls and tweed she was by far the more intimidating of the two. Outside, a chauffeur had stood waiting dutifully beside a Bentley, shining more violently than the sun. ‘And I’d like for them to be large,’ she’d added, holding up two gloved hands to make her point.

‘Human?’ I’d asked. It was all I could think to say.

She’d gone on to produce a pristine shoebox, Dior set in gold against the crisp white of the lid, inside a pair of brand new black patent leather peeptoe heels, as shiny and new as the Bentley.

We were instructed to put one of the shoes, specifically the heel, right through the thick of a testicle. Mrs Ludlow-Burns said she wanted the cake to look painful. Like marriage.


She’s loved and lost – will she ever learn to open her heart again? In one tragic moment, Holly Jefferson’s life as she knows it changes for ever. Now, to the external world, everything’s ‘fine’: she’s renovating her cottage, running her own business, Cake – and generally just getting on with it.

What she feels inside is a different story: lost, alone, unsure of the future – and certain she’ll never love again. When she meets handsome Ciaran Argyll, son of a self-made millionaire businessman, she thinks their worlds couldn’t be more different. He’s rich, confident and gets by on his looks; she’s just trying to get by.

However, there’s more to Ciaran than the superficial world that surrounds him, and he too is wrestling with his own ghosts. Will Holly find the missing ingredient that allows her to put her grief behind her – and embrace an unknown and unexpected tomorrow?

Since You’ve Been Gone book trailer:

Also available in the following titles…

North American

North American








Well hello again, world!


Hola, amigos! So, my best intentions to keep an up-to-date blog have erm… well, the less said about that the better I reckon. What’s a few long months between friends, right? In my defence, I have been a very busy gal. I think I might hactually be a bloody caterpillar in fact, given that I disappeared into my bedroom some time around September and have only just emerged again, dazed and blinking (and not at all butterfly-like, I should mention) with plenty of empty chocolate wrappers, very hairy legs and, wait for it… ONLY A FINISHED BLEEDIN’ MANUSCRIPT!


It’s done. My new novel. My new bloody novel! I’ve just written my 3rd book set to hit the shelves this September, what kind of craziness is this?!

Did I mention I had a baby in August? As in, gave birth to a whopper and have spent nearly every second since within nuzzling distance of him? How’s that for giving yourself a writing challenge? I tell you now, for someone who can’t jog for more than a minute without suffering that coppery-taste-in-the-mouth thing while violently rasping for air, I am pretty darned impressed with my new SAS-like endurance skillz. I kid you not, a girl feels pretty hardcore after writing till 2am, doing the 4am breastfeeding zombie thing and then crawling out of bed again to get the bigger kids to school.


Don’t try this at home, folks.

But we’re through it, thank goodness. Normal life, whatever brand of chaos that is, is steadily creeping back down the garden path of Casa Knight. Jesse Boy is now nine months into a fairly awesome life thus far, I’ve caught up with my other two marvellous sons (and Game of Thrones, obviously… that yearning was nearly killing me), I’ve pinned the husband down and snogged his face off a few times and after taking the last fortnight off doing anything even remotely authory, I am relieved to announce that this mama is now fully-coloured, trimmed of split-ends, well-rested and smooth-legged once more. For now anyway.


And I’m not the only one getting a good sprucing. Letting You Go is pretty much going through the same treatment over at the publisher’s. Basically I give them a hairy-legged, wobbly-bummed manuscript with a hair do like a bird’s nest, and they gently suggest which bits to prune, tighten and gloss.

Which means… oh yes, we’re neearly there! Nearly at the bit I dig the most! The part of the process where I can sit back and catch my breath and almost – almost – feel ready to laugh off all the endless nights I utterly loathed my plot ideas and pulled them apart and hated everything all that fretful, teary effort amounted to before somehow working out (with the help of a few editorial rescue missions) how to pull it all back together again.

Jeez, it’s ace to be out of that stage, I can tell ya. It’s exhausting enough just thinking about it.


Boy oh boy, is it worth it.

After a few fallings out, I love my characters again. I love their story too and, dare I say it, I miss writing/reading about them. It all feels a bit weird without them featuring in my day to day, it feels a bit like we’ve had demanding house-guests for the last few months, eating our food, getting under our skin, stealing our family time. I’ve been desperate for them to bugger off and leave us alone only now I’ve recharged my batteries I quite fancy a few glasses of wine with them again. I hope I still feel that way when the author copies rock up in the post, I guess I’ll find out soon enough when I have a brand new spangly copy of my brand new spangly book clasped in these arthritic, nail-bitten hands of mine. I think it’ll be okay. I hope other people will think so too. And I don’t think it will be long after those advance copies arrive on my doorstep before I’m cracking on with Book 4, because holding your own book with your own name on the front is a pretty cool reminder of why the hard slog is totally worth it.

But it’s also bloody great being back in the real world for a while!

Anouska 🙂

Pre-publication jitters… ROUND 2!

APartofMe_FrontIt’s a year on, no-one’s shot me yet for crimes against literature, and through a perfect storm of luck, guidance from my publishers and severe writer’s finger-crampage, I’ve made it back to the edge of that jittery precipice… Publication Eve!

As of tomorrow, June 20th, I will officially be a debut author no more. My mother will be lighter in the pocket for ordering at least two copies of this second novel of mine for every blighter she can can think of, and I will have graduated to my big-girl writer’s pants.

I’m pleased to report, the jitterations aren’t so bad this time around. Call it being a year older, or preggers, or just bleedin grateful for these opportunities, but I am super excited about tomorrow’s release of A Part Of Me. 

Eighteen months ago, all this ‘author’ mischief would’ve been off the chart as far as idle day-dreams went. So for anyone else with similar reveries I’ve just gotta say – aim high, kids… anything can happen x


Word Hoarder!

Euggh, I’m a bloody hoarder, I admit it, damn it!

Not only am I incapable of chucking out that funky jelly-mold I might remember to use this summer, or the trousers I paid too much for back in 2003 when I actually had a chance of getting them up past my lower thighs without a heavy duty lubricant and reduced blood-flow to my feet, it would seem that I’m now hoarding bloody words, too!

Ah well, at least I’m recycling a few bits along the way. Like this! I was asked to spill the beans lately on the inner workings of this little writer’s bubble I’ve been happily floating around in for the last year and a bit. It seemed a shame not to whack my rambling responses on here, seeing as the regular bloggy contributions I was determined to make have fallen by the wayside while I’ve been bashing out more novels (totes unexpected!) and yelling and the kids (not at all unexpected).

So! As my brain is currently empty and the peeps behind the 2014 Virtual Romance Festival were kind enough to delve into that bubble I mentioned, here’s what we nattered about…


ro fest


Tell us about yourself

Oh pants, I’m a waffler but I’ll try to keep this brief…

Bit of a dreamer, wayward hair.

Decent feet – hoorah! Horrendous roots – eugh.

Think my pals would say occasionally sensible, loyal to the bones, always up for a good cackle? The Hubster, on the other hand, well he’d just tell you that I’m generally pretty nightmarish to live with, untidy, disorganised and probably a bit bossy, blah blah blah.

Who listens to hubsters though, right?

ActualIy I do listen to him occasionally, it’s kinda in the contract. He’s my favourite pain-in-the-ass, which is why I married him ten years after our initial flirtations at youth club. Ahh, nothing sets the scene for romance more effectively than a smouldering look across the ping-pong table and a plastic cup of Tizer. The summer of the shell suit – they were the days, alright.

Turns out, getting hitched was a good move. Phew! Together we’ve made two more cracking pains in the ass (Radley Bo, 9 & Loch, 7) plus we have a third hellbat due to crash into the world in nine weeks, so we’re pretty darned fortunate as it goes.

Hmm, what else…

Guess I’m prone to bouts of uncontrollable hysteria, usually in places where you’re supposed to be grown up and stuff, i.e. wedding services, speeches etc. I blame The Hubster for those though. He always starts it with one of those throaty/nasal sniggers about something completely infantile and stupid, and then we’re off.

What else, what else, what else…

Ooh, I have an actual degree! My first professional innings in the working world were as an interior designer for an architectural practice in Birmingham, which I loved, but I left to become a homebody and look after hellbats 1&2. Let me tell you, two kids under two was bloody hard work. Once they were at school though, I set up my own business, Nouskie Noo’s, in the supply of contemporary celebration cakes daftly thinking I’d have a better work-life balance. Turns out, running a business was even bloody harder! Who knew?

Anyway, it’s all worked out smashingly now because after getting fed up of not seeing the family every weekend, and closing my little cakery bakery and sulking about it for a while, I happened across a little writing competition on ITV back in January 2013 and, flippin’ heck… I won!

Three book deals later with a brilliant publishing team and life at Casa Knight has been exciting, frantic and utterly awesome since.


Tell us about your latest book

So my latest book (blimey, that still sounds un-be-lieve-able!) is out June 20th and is called ‘A Part of Me’

The story follows Amy along her arduous journey through the process of adoption, and the hurdles she has to navigate and life-changing decisions she has to make in order to realise the one thing she desperately yearns for, a family of her own.

Amy’s so nearly there. She’s finally slogged her way through the bulk of the adoption journey when the rug is unexpectedly yanked from beneath her feet and everything quickly starts to fall apart. Amy has some very difficult decisions to make and very little time to make them before the adoption authorities suss that something has gone very wrong somewhere, jeopardising her application. The very last thing she needs while she’s trying to work out how to hold it all together is for a distraction to stroll into her office and throw yet more chaos and challenges her way, but that’s exactly what she finds herself up against.

When did you start writing?

I started writing as an angstful teenager, I guess. I kept a diary for around four or five years which helped me to deal with all the usual peaks and troughs of teendom – unrequited love (the shell-suit wearing sort), mean girls, frustrating parents etc etc. Of course, I called them journals back then, sounded less naff than a dreary diary. I still have them, and trust me, that stuff is definitely not up for public consumption!

I’d say I started writing properly after I closed my cake shop in the summer of 2012. I’d been writing a fantasy novel just for myself for about a year beforehand, but with the shop shut I really threw myself into it as a bit of release from all the stress.

The more I wrote, the more I got sucked into it. It got to a point where this story I was writing was always there, bubbling away in the back of my head – on the school run, while I was washing up, hiding out in the bath from the kids etc – little threads of ideas would join themselves up and the plot grew and grew until I realised that I probably had enough going for a trilogy.

I was thinking about trying it out on Wattpad when I got ‘the call’ from ITV.

I’d love to get it published one day, but after working alongside a super-fly editor for the last year, I realise that my 180k word fantasy novel will need a leedle bit of sharpening up before I do anything with it.


Tell us about your experience of getting a literary agent.

Well due to coming into the arena of writing the way that I did, my publishing contract was already a done deal way before I had any inkling of agents and all of that side of things. I remember having lunch with a lovely guy, Nigel Stoneman – Jackie Collins’ UK agent (she has more than one agent don’tcha know) – idly pondering how wonderful it would be to ever actually need an agent of my own. I didn’t really give it much thought for a while though after that. I was so busy trying to get Since You’ve Been Gone out on time. Plus, I couldn’t stop thinking about Jerry Maguire and the mental image I had of shark-like bloodsuckers with very big teeth, waiting to gobble up any royalties I might earn. (What can I say? I’m learning as I go along here)

It wasn’t until after I’d signed for my next two book deals that I really started giving more thought to looking into the whole representation bit. I was having another very nice lunch with the fabulous Victoria Fox when she walked me through the role of her literary agent. Foxy worked in publishing before heading out as an author in her own right, so when she raved about the Madeleine Milburn Agency I started to take note. I’d already been approached by the agency so I trundled down to London one morning and after another very agreeable lunch with Maddy Milburn, I done got myself my very own agent! And another few millimetres on the waistline. (There’s a lot of lunching involved in the writing world, I’ve found. I suspect the publishers and agents are quietly feeding us up to see us through endless months of ‘writing hibernation’ later on)

There are lots of reasons a writer needs a literary agent but I think for me, because so many wonderful opportunities have come like a bolt out of the blue, there’s always going to be niggling voice in my head that keeps warning me It could all go away again just as quickly, Nousk… you might not be offered another publishing contract, ever!

Yikes. What a total buzz-killer that would be.

Having a literary agent has helped with all that though. I still worry about that side of things but I worry significantly less now because I have someone in the arena with me who can think about that stuff on my behalf, which leaves me to concentrate on the best bits – the writing and eating.


When did you get your first book deal?

I won my first book deal live on ITV’s Lorraine show on Valentine’s Day 2013. The premise of the competition was to submit one thousand words only of a racy read and hope like hell someone tasked at the other end with sifting through thousands of other submissions took a shine to yours!


What tips would you give to other aspiring romance authors, looking to be published?

From my own experience, it would be daft not to say definitely keep an eye out on any competitions being run by the big publishers. Check their websites, Facebook pages, Twitter feeds etc. It might sound like a long shot but it’s a chance of exposure, you have absolutely nothing to lose and, turns out, people do actually win and go on to further publication.

I’d also say don’t wait for lightening to strike though. There’s nothing stopping you slogging away at it. Forget starting that new TV series of Whatever at 9pm every night, use that time to write. Use bath time to think. Keep a note book and write, every day, whether you think you’re getting somewhere or not. It’ll come.

Finally, get your work out there. Anywhere you can think of, literary agencies, publishers… get going.


Where do you write?

Mainly on my bed, propped up by lots of pillows and surrounded by discarded biscuit packets. I have a desk in the spare room/office/laundry dumping ground, but the chair gives me a dead ass and just the sight of my ironing pile brings me out in hives.

I’m 31 weeks pregnant at the mo though, so everywhere’s bloody uncomfortable anyway.

It is easy to get distracted in your own home though – it’s a sunny day so I’ll just put a load of washing out, etc – so when I need to really knuckle down in the daytime I’ll sometimes use my sister’s house while she’s at work. She can do her own washing, plus she has a kickass snack cupboard.


Where do you look for writing inspiration?

For writing inspiration, as in the act of writing, you’ve got to read. You can’t imitate anyone else’s ‘voice’, that part has to be yours alone, but it’s vital that you tap into what kind of writing feels comfortable for you and the best way to do that is read broadly and find a selection of precedents you can take a few pointers from.


Where do I look for inspiration when it comes to the plot itself?

People, mainly. And issues that strike a chord with me. I don’t really look for inspiration, inspiration tends to find you I think. If something jumps up and grabs your attention or resonates in you, for whatever reason, you’ve probably got a very good anchor to tie your novel to.

The main themes behind A Part of Me were adoption and adaptability.

After two years of misdiagnosis, my kid sister was diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma at nineteen years old. She was given the option of harvesting her eggs to safeguard her future fertility, but as the tumour in her leg was the size of a large orange she thought it best to crack on with the eleven months of chemotherapy she had ahead of her.

Thankfully, she still has her life, and a Wolverine-grade part-titanium leg, but until she’s bonkers enough to try for a child she won’t really know what hurdles she might have to face on that front. Added to that, two of my old school pals had recently gone through the adoption process and I was completely knocked out by their dedication. I take my family for granted all the time.

Coming back to my sister, when I was thrashing out the synopsis for A Part of Me, she told me a hilarious story she’d heard at a Teenage Cancer Trust event. The guy had lost his limb to cancer, but had found plenty of opportunity since to put his prosthetic to fantastically distasteful comedic use. After hearing that, not to mention previously being flawed by the awesomeness that was the 2012 Paralympics, I knew I had to have a perfectly imperfect hero to throw a bit of trouble into the plot of A Part of Me.


Which other authors do you admire?

I’m just nearing the end of Dan Brown’s Inferno. I was in Majorca when I read the majority of it, but I might as well have been pounding the streets of Florence and Venice for the vivid imagery he provides in his writing.

I have to say one of my fave authors of late would be Liane Moriarty. I love her voice. As soon as I’d finished gulping down her novel, all I wanted to do was cyber-stalk her until she agreed to be my BFF. I was gutted when I couldn’t find her on Twitter.

Maya Angelou and Harper Lee have stood the test of time. More recently, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed Jojo Moyes, Laurell K Hamilton and Suzanne Collins, to name but a few – all for different reasons, obviously. I think my favourite author is usually the last one I read though! Does that make me some sort of ‘reading philanderer’?!


Are you on social media?

Yes! Unless I’m in deadline territory and I don’t want my editor to think I’m fraternising with the masses instead of grafting!

When I’m not in deadline territory, I can usually be found wittering on, either on Twitter @AnouskaKnight or my Facebook page, ingeniously entitled Anouska Knight, or even on my very own blog page, wait for it… wait for it…


If so, tell us what you like about it.

I love the whole social networking shebang for a few reasons. First off, it’s instant and allows a very quick interchange with the outside world. Writing can be quite insular if you’re not careful, so being able to dip in and out of the world community, particularly amongst likeminded others who also love their reading and writing etc, can be a total life-saver when you’re desperate for five minutes out of your own head.

I also love social media because, well, I’m bloody nosey, aren’t I?

Hi, my name’s Anouska Knight and I’m a nosey parker.

Take note, Liane Moriarty. As soon as I find you out there, I am SO going to Like/Follow/Poke you.


Personal Stuff…

Where were you born?

Lovely Lichfield, Staffordshire.

What is your earliest memory?

Probably falling down the stairs and biting my tongue off when I was two. Nothing sets a memory in stone like bloody horror. That said, I may have formulated the ‘memory’ after hearing about it in later years. Either way, shudder. They sewed it back on, btw.

Where do you live now?

We’re within walking distance of stunning Cannock Chase, which takes some beating as an area of outstanding natural beauty.

Dog or cat person?

Dog! I’ve yet to find a pooch repeatedly climbing into my back garden, terrorising the rabbits and leaving brown pressies all over the place for the kids to step in. That said, I did rather warm to the cat that went viral a few weeks ago… the one that saved the little lad from being mauled by a dog. Didn’t that cat open the Super Bowl, or something?!

When were you happiest?

There have been a fair few contenders for that title I’m fortunate enough to say.

When Jim and I got the keys to our first home, when our sons were born healthy, when I was crying like a muppet in the loos at ITV after Lorraine Kelly pulled my name out of a gold envelope and everything changed for all of us.

But to pick one moment would have to be when my sister got her all clear from that horrendous disease. Moments of happiness have a habit of jumping on you out of nowhere, but that one we were holding our breath a long time for.

What advice would you give your 18 year-old self?

Don’t drink Tequila. Liquor of the Devil.

Don’t spend all of your student loan on CDs, you need to eat for three years, stupid.

Don’t smoke, you do not look like Audrey Hepburn, you look like Slash.

Don’t worry so much about what other people think of you, you can’t win em all and, honestly, why feel the need to?

Do take more money to Glastonbury, £40 is not enough especially as you’ll spend a quarter of that on baby wipes and ciggies in the village shop before you even leave. Dur.

Start writing fiction! Trust me, you’ll LOVE it, so get cracking!

Get Jim and go travelling for a year once you graduate. Before you know it, you’ll be Mum and Dad and who wants to go back-packing with a papoose? ‘No money’ is no excuse. You’ll manage it, somehow, now go get your dreadlocks on.

And finally, don’t laugh when the old girl in the flowery frock gets blown over by the hovercraft at Portsmouth harbour – no-one else will and while she may have her dress over her head, you’ll look like the plonker.

What was your most embarrassing date?

That didn’t involve shell-suits and ping-pong? This is going to sound pretty naff, but I’ve never really done the dating thing. It’s only ever really been The Hubster, and mostly we’ve just always hung out irritating each other.

What is your favourite romantic moment?

With The Hubster? Erm… I’m still waiting for it. He said ‘he’s saving it up’.

What do you wish for when you blow out the candles?

To not accidentally spit a little bit on the cake.

What is your favourite smell?

Christmas trees on Cannock Chase.

What book would you choose to take on a desert island?

How To Epilate With Sand, Because No-one’s Gonna Rescue An Island Yeti.

What music would you choose to take on a desert island?

Would have to be Moby.

Three people you’d like to be stranded on a desert island with.

(Assuming the body hair situation is under control)

The Hubster, because he looks after me.

Ray Mears. He’d be handy and, I suspect, a thoroughly nice fellow.

And probably… Matthew Mcconaughey-hey-hey-there-handsome, because who doesn’t like a hotty with a bongo, right?

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Family. Jim, Rad & Loch. Boring answer I know, but a fact is a fact is a fact.

What is your favourite romantic song?

Ahh, too many but I LOVE Scott Matthews’s Elusive. Absolutely beautiful.

What is your favourite romantic film?

It’s gotta be Dirty Dancing. The tension, the music, the Swayze. Yesss.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I believe in love at first fight if that counts?

Sure you can be utterly mesmerised by some gorgeous shell-suit wearing bad boy with a ping-pong paddle in one hand and a cup of Tizer in the other, maybe even mesmerized enough to start a relationship that will see you through some fifteen-twenty years together or more. But I think that real love is a grower, and deserves not to be rushed. Get your first heavyweight bouts behind you, then you’ll know if it’s love.

Unless his name is Matthew and he likes to play bongos in the nuddy.


WARNING: Gratuitous hottie pic alert.

Pre-publication jitters…

My book cover!

My book cover!

Ok, so I got to thinking and after receiving a few lovely tweets from a few lovely writers I reckoned that someone, somewhere out there might like to dip in and out of the goings on of a rookie author (that would be me) as I try to suss out this weird and wonderful journey I’ve found myself on.

I should probably start at the start, but I’ll get to that in another post. (I said I was a rookie, and with that in mind, you should probably expect the odd smidging of dodgy chronology, grammar and/or spelling)

So then. Today. It wasn’t a game-changer, but it was defo something of a curve-ball. Today, I suffered the first real stirrings of something I can only assume to be pre-publication jitters?! Do other people get these? Please say yes.

In fairness, my mood was already on a knife edge after the boys (think of Thing A & Thing B from The Cat in the Hat) decided to join forces before school. They aren’t always like Thing A and Thing B, most of the time they’re actually quite awesome, but not today. Today they were a tag team of pain-in-the-assdom, and I sent them off to school with a telling off, and the sound of my mother’s voice ringing in my ears as I blew. Which sucked. All day.

Then, I got home to a filthy credit card bill and a dubious bank charge letter. I phoned the hubster to offload as he tucked into his mid-morning brew with the other fellas on site. He told me his van had broken on the way to work. Triffic. The morning was a bit of a downer.

So, I got off the phone before the hubster could tell me how much the van would inevitably cost, and began the daily ritual of checking emails. And, joy of joys, I’d missed one yesterday from the lovely Ali at Mills & Boon, telling me that my book cover was about to get its first public outing today!! Yippee!!

The morning was looking up!

I was going to get to share with my facebook friends yet more amazingness of the publication process. The same process I’ve clogged their news feeds with over several whirlwind months. Because I can’t help myself. Because it is completely brillopads. Because they are completely brillopads.

My facebook muckas have been more than awesome since ITV’s Racy Reads took our world and flipped it sunny side up. They’ve been encouraging, and excited, and to be honest I don’t think they even really care what Since You’ve Been Gone is about, or if it’s any good. They’re just super cool, and vocally happy for my unbelievable good fortune. Their consistently positive vibes make me feel bloody epic, and so I couldn’t wait to share with them my beautiful book cover.

But…then came the jitterations.

It’s not just my friends who are going to read my debut novel. (Well, hopefully not, or else my mum is going to have to step up her grand plan of ordering ten copies and start getting down to some serious bulk-buying. That credit card is not going to pay itself)

I started to get a teeny bit anxious about what people on the other side of my circle are going to think and say. Not only about the book cover, but about the book itself. People who don’t know me are going to have opinions on the story, my writing style (I assume I have one?!) my grammar, my breadth of vocabulary – or lack thereof – whether the story is ‘Racy Reads’ enough, whether it’s too racy for some. (My dad has already flat out declared he won’t be reading it. I should remind him that he used to wear a t-shirt that said ‘I choked Linda Lovelace’ on it)

When I started querying my choice of character names (really? at this stage?) it was time for spoonful of peanut butter and a reality check.

Not everyone is going to say nice things about my book. There, I said it.

And I’m still breathing.

It’s gonna be OK.

Another spoonful of pb. Of course I’m mithering about this stuff. I care! It’s important! And other authors must to some degree feel the same way about their work, and how theirs will be received too. And so they should be. Writing a book, I’ve found, might well be a wonderful experience, but it’s a hungry practice. Hungry for your time, and dedication and energy…all the things you have to take from somewhere else. Like your little boys and hubster, the housework (I’m not really bothered about that one) or hours of sleep (that was a toughie). It’s a hefty personal investment. Are you getting how important it is?!

I know I’m probably supposed to pretend that I don’t have these worries. But I doooo! Boy, do I ever! Not very many months ago, I was dreaming about self-publishing something with not a clue as to how to make it happen, wondering about what goes on this side of the divide. Today was an enlightening part of my learning. No doubt at some stage, I will have to learn to toughen up a bit and stop being so wet. Just not today.

After a third comforting dollop of peanut butter, I’d uploaded my fab cover for my pals to see. And guess what? They think it rocks. And I think so too. And I reeeally hope that anyone who might see my book thinks the same. And if they don’t? Well…that’s what peanut butter and my buddies are for :¬) x

Mmmm...peanut butter

Mmmm…peanut butter